||[Apr. 13th, 2009|01:05 am]
Today was a great day for me.
My day started at 9am as I was serving for HopeTots/Kinders combined service today.
All in all, I was really glad when it was all over. Enjoyed serving with the people from Aunty Jane's side.
And the Tots were so cute lahs.
And so, moving on to Service time.
I think that this has been one of the most memorable Easters ever.
The production was great, and everything was just great.
Testimony was shared and I teared.
I mean, I heard it during the rehearsals and it did have much impact on my till today.
Thanks to Uncle Kelvin and Auntie Yung for taking up so much courage to go up and share your testimony.
Everyone was talking about it and that is how much you guys have impacted their live.
The most moving part was definitely during altar call.
My whole life just started running through my mind.
And a few days ago, I came across a letter I wrote to my mom when I was much younger. I think I wrote it about 7 years ago. I can't remember what I did that made her so mad and me think this way but it went something like this:
On the envelope I wrote:
PS. Hope you will be happy after you read this. I do not deserve to be loved by other people anymore.
I don't deserve to live with people who love me very much. All the people who love me very much are in Singapore. I don't deserve to live with them anymore. If you do not want to see my face anymore, please buy me a ticket back to America. Now you can stay here and live a happy life with kor kor, Janelle and Daddy. I hope that you will be very happy after I go.
At the time when I read the letter, I couldn't help but just cry for a few minutes
And I don't know why I was crying either.
But today, during Altar Call, that was one of the memories that flashed in mind and I really could not stop tearing. And so many others from the hurts in primary school, to secondary school, the short depression stage I was going through, the lonely times in Secondary one when I really had no friends and the friendships I THOUGHT I had were all one-sided, the suicidal thoughts I have had. That was before I knew God.
I'm not gonna even get started on the things that happened after I knew God.
But one thing I know for sure, Jesus overcame all these things for me on the cross.
God's laws, God's ways are perfect, but Man is imperfect and we broke all of God's ways.
Like Pastor Jeff says:
In those stores that sell fragile stuff, they paste signs all over saying: Nice to see, nice to touch, one broken, considered bought.
To our lives, it's just the same, but we didn't the pay the price. Jesus did.
Like in the letter I wrote to my mommy, whatever I did that time made me feel so undeserving. Made me feel that the world would have been a better place without me. But my mommy forgave me.
And Jesus forgave me. We don't deserve to be forgiven and the world will definitely be a better place without us, but instead of us being sent to death, Jesus was sent to death.
Not only does Jesus Save, but Jesus pays.
Some people who are reading this may start labelling me as being holy, religious, etc. etc.
But I don't care, not one bit.
And what's my life like now?
Well, I've got such a great unit- HRP :) for always making me feel loved, for being so family, for being a great part of my life.
I've got great friends in church: Rachel, Kar, Deng- definitely people I can count on.
I'm sacrifcing my sleep on Sunday to impact the lives of kids. And because of HopeKids ministry, I don't just have kids to take care of, but I have mother and father figures in the leaders who impact my life too.
So much so much to thank God for.
Want a purposeful life? Want to be forgiven fully? Want someone to pay for all your wrongdoings?
JESUS is the only way.